Santa's Drunk Again

I just had a wonderful time with the grandkiddes visiting Santa.  Our best friends grandaughter was so afraid of Santa that we now have this great picture of here crying and trying to get away.  And then it dawned on me........Santa was probably drunk.  Taking the kids to see a drunken Santa should be part of a family tradition.  If you haven't started one, you probably should do it right away. Better to start this tradition while the little darlings are young enough to have enough intuition to be afraid of a drunken guy , in the mall, enticing young children with candy canes to sit on his lap and share secrets.  Ok,think about this conversation, and see if it doesn't sound familiar:
Johnny, Come over here and sit on Santa's lap.  Don't be afraid, here's a candy cane.  Now tell old Santa, what is the one thing in the world that you want the most?  Old Santa will try to make sure you get it if you're good and do what your told.  Ho, Ho, Ho, that's what you want?  Ok, now don't tell anyone, this will be just between you and Ole Santa here, ok?  'Cause if you tell anyone, you won't get your presents.  Remember, I know where you live, I know when you sleep, and I know if you're good or bad.

You see, when you start to put it in perspective, Santa's just a little creepy..........midgets in a sweatshop? You need to leave him milk and cookies?  Sneaks into your house at night?  Magic dust to make you fly?

See why this is such a great holiday icon?

Ok, I know you're thinking I've gone a little too far here with the drunken Santa as a tradition thing here, but I'll bet ALL of you have already shared this tradition with your little darlings.  Think not, let me refresh your memories........

Coming back now, ain't it?  Percy Helton was a drunken santa in Miracle on 34th street, 1947.  Oh yeah, you did watch it......and you let your kids watch it too.....

Here's a picture for those of us with Irish heritage.  No red suit here, just good old Kelly green.  Same sentiment though, Santa is a drunk.

Naughty List?

But the best portrayal EVER (and one of my all-time favorite movies) is Billy Bob Thornton in BAD SANTA....This is a MUST see, and always brings tears to my eyes.

More from the movie...

And it gets creepier in other cultures.......

So like my kids like to paraphrase the Christmas carol rendition from Jose Feliciano

"The Police have my Dad"

Merry Christmas....start a tradition.