Ok, you want your house to be safe when you return home from one of my recommended field trips with the kiddies. Here's an idea you can use. Have the little dears lay down on the porch or sidewalk. Find some chalk.....you probably let them use it in the back yard last time you barbequed so you could drink a cold frosty barley pop in peace.....outline the bodies of the precious ones. Put up some crime scene tape....For improved performance, add some splattered ketchup. Leave some empty 9mm casings and put those little evidence numbers around. Nobody should bother the house (unless they're really psycho, and then they were probably gonna do crazy stuff anyway). For extra fun, pick a TV or movie character the kids really like. Before the kids come to visit use your creative talents to make a chalk outline. You can add the crime scene, ketchup, and spent shell casings if you want. Make it recognizable. Wait for the surprised look on thier faces. Sponge Bob and that purple dinosaur would be funny to me, or the guy from Yo Gabba Gabba. I wouldn't feel bad about letting them fret about any of them. Hey, don't judge so harshly.....you did lie to them about Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny didn't you?
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Ok, you want your house to be safe when you return home from one of my recommended field trips with the kiddies. Here's an idea you can use. Have the little dears lay down on the porch or sidewalk. Find some chalk.....you probably let them use it in the back yard last time you barbequed so you could drink a cold frosty barley pop in peace.....outline the bodies of the precious ones. Put up some crime scene tape....For improved performance, add some splattered ketchup. Leave some empty 9mm casings and put those little evidence numbers around. Nobody should bother the house (unless they're really psycho, and then they were probably gonna do crazy stuff anyway). For extra fun, pick a TV or movie character the kids really like. Before the kids come to visit use your creative talents to make a chalk outline. You can add the crime scene, ketchup, and spent shell casings if you want. Make it recognizable. Wait for the surprised look on thier faces. Sponge Bob and that purple dinosaur would be funny to me, or the guy from Yo Gabba Gabba. I wouldn't feel bad about letting them fret about any of them. Hey, don't judge so harshly.....you did lie to them about Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny didn't you?
Bubbs-I hate this blog...want you to start a "good Grampa blog! I'm telling Santa on you...and if that does't sound "Garry" enough.....Im telling Steph!
ReplyDeleteps. still love ya though!
ReplyDeleteThis works, this works! The husband used to make me lie down on the front walk, outline me with chalk and scattered "WatchTower" pamphlets all around the outline and under the yellow "POLICE LINE DO NOT CROSS" tape! I tried to get him to use some spent casings, but he wanted me to reload them. hahahahaha
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